Acceptance!

I was first thinking , when exactly does one start to yearn for acceptance?

 Is it when we are born?

 Is it when we first feel the pain of non-acceptance?

 Is it when we begin to be challenged in sports?

 Is it when we fall into the ever talked about `peer pressure`?

 Is it when we fall  in love?

 Is it when we start a new job?

 Is it when we become a new member of a family?

 Is it when we move to a new city or country?

 Is it when we write our very first book?

 I believe it is all of the above, when people  feel the need to be accepted, they will do leaps and bounds to succeed in this quest.

 Athletes and body builders will take drugs to win..winning=acceptance.

 When we fall in love , our entire being wants to feel accepted by our mate.

 Authors will spend hours and hours to write the exact words to please their readers and go to great lengths to publish their creation.

 Becoming a new member of a family whether it be through marriage or adoption will create a need to be nurtured as one who genuinely belongs.

 Starting a new job is a definite acceptance need, we need to fit in so we can relax and apply ourselves 100% to our job.

  Moving to a new country or city or even just a new neighbourhood, is very challenging for us and to be accepted and fit in, is a very important step in our settling in.

  Lets not forget` Peer Pressure` , that's a tough one, children just getting started in high school suffer the most with this one, hormones are swinging and their emotions are so sensitive. The fears that they have struggle with for the year before is all up front and  they have a whole lot of reality to deal with. To fit in and be accepted by their peers is more than half the battle.

  Being a baby has a world of need to be accepted and see our parents smile when we please them.

  The pain of non acceptance for the first time cuts like a knife. It wounds us for life, creating a scar that we grow with forever.

  All these worries ,  needs and desires are in all of us that live and breathe.  Some of us feel the hunger for acceptance less than others.  Some of us cannot live with out acceptance , we become obsessed in our thinking, trying anything we can to fit in.

  Do you read the words "self esteem" in anything I have written here today. Yup and it is in every sentence. The need for acceptance somehow effects our self-esteem which in turns affects our emotional stability where jealousy , worry and anxiety seed from.. If you know the feeling of non-acceptance or low self-esteem, then you know how controlled you are by the worry that follows them and how much of your life is imprisoned by that other mind.

 Low self-esteem and non-acceptance are exactly that, `another mind` and one can actually feel them at war . It reminds me of the good devil and bad devil scenario. Trust me here it is no fun for the person that is imprisoned by it, not only do they have to balance the two minds, but they also have the guilt that they feel when they see what the result of the battle in their heads is doing to the people around them. The constant questions that one faces as in  my blog  FEELINGS!!!!  are an added pain to the already lonely tortured person.

 So if anyone out there knows a person that suffers  from non-acceptance or low self-esteem, HUGG  them and please try to have more patience and understand that they are not having a picnic and that if just saying , "stop it" or "just don`t think about it"  could  stop it, they would in a heart beat. We all need support and acceptance to get us through our lows. Kicking someone when they are down, never ever helps them to get up.

 I am doing what I can through my web site and my blog to help educate people and help them understand what low self-esteem is all about and how very intense and serious it is.  If any of you ever have any questions, please contact me or leave me a comment and I will do my best to answer it.

Abundance is a feeling

This question and answer interview was done by Kathy Smith, one of Michael's loyal Virtual Assistants. Visit her website.

Q: Michael, many times during your teleclasses and seminars, you say "abundance is a feeling." Can you elaborate on that statement - what do you mean it's a feeling?

First one of the important things that we've come to learn with the Law of Attraction is that we can duplicate feelings. In other words, just through the words I use I can stimulate somebody or discourage them. In short, we can create feelings within ourselves and within others by what we say and what we think.

Abundance is a feeling. Do you ever notice how excited you feel when you know you have a check coming or when you know you're getting an income tax refund? The excitement you're experiencing is the feeling of abundance. We feel abundant knowing that it's coming, even before we put it in the bank. So a question to ask is, "Do I feel abundant knowing that I'm receiving some money or do I feel abundant only when I put it in my bank account?" For most people, they feel abundant knowing that it's coming. It has nothing to do with whether that have it or not.

So because abundance is a feeling, and the Law of Attraction responds to feelings (vibrations), what if we were able to duplicate the vibration of abundance deliberately? (This is what's called Deliberate Attraction). We've come to understand that this powerful force called the Law of Attraction is constantly checking to find a vibration that we're sending and duplicates it by giving us more of the same. So what if when the Law of Attraction is checking at every moment, that in that moment, we are offering the vibration of abundance? Given the formula, the Law of Attraction would duplicate that vibration and bring us more of the same. That's why it's called the Law.

Q: How do you teach people to attract more abundance?

The Law of Attraction does not care why you are offering a vibration. In other words, it does not care whether you are remembering, pretending, complaining, creating, day-dreaming or observing your reality. It obediently duplicates that vibration. So ideally, we would find something that makes us feel abundant and include it more often in our daily vibration. There are a number of tools that people can use to duplicate the vibration of abundance. I'll give you one of them today.

Q: How do you record abundance in your own life?

On my fridge, I have 15 - 2 dollar winning lottery tickets. So I can clearly and truthfully say I won the lottery 15 times last month. I'm a winner. Look how many times I've won! It's worth 30 dollars to me in the bank and it's worth much more to me vibrationally.

You know when people buy those lottery scratch tickets? Most would celebrate the win for 21 seconds. So for 21 seconds, you are offering the vibration of abundance by saying things like, "Hey I just won 2 dollars! I love it when I win scratch tickets!" And after the short offering of abundance vibration, most people cash the ticket in again and again until they lose. And now they catch themselves saying, "I just wasted money on this lottery again. I only ever win 2 dollars. Easy come, easy go." Now they're in a place of offering a negative vibration.

So here's how to take advantage of the 2 dollar winning lottery ticket. Don't cash it. Keep it in your wallet. Put it on your fridge. And as you look at it each time, it will be a brief reminder that you won 2 dollars. Now you can tell yourself, I won the lottery! I won money this week! And now, for more than 21 seconds, you are offering the vibration of abundance over and over and over again. Your 2 dollar winning lottery ticket is worth more to you vibrationally than the 2 dollars.

A Gold Medal in Love

Five-time gold medal-winning figure skater, Jenny Kilmer, has won the women’s Olympics since she was 16. At 36, she is attempting to win her sixth straight gold medal. Kilmer has been blessed to have such fame and fortune with sporting equipment endorsements and TV contracts. She has gotten everything that he has set out to get, except for one thing: love.

Love is what has been eluding her. She has had many relationships, but none that have transpired into anything beyond just a relationship. Her latest relationship with Scott seemed to be destined to the same scenario.

Since two years old, Jenny’s life has been all about skating. Her intensive training has obviously paid off professionally because of her gold medals, but personally, even her trainer, Yon, cannot stand to be around her. It was five days until the Women’s Olympic medal competition.

Yon asked her, “Do you think that you’re gonna find that special guy like that girl did in that movie, ‘The Cutting Edge?’” he said in his Russian accent. “You are ten times the spoiled brat that she was.” “Absolutely,” said Jen. “I’m Jenny Kilmer. America’s Sweetheart. Every man wants me.” “Until they get to know you,” Yon retorted. “But they get together in the end.” “Actors get together in the end, not skaters!” “Whatever, Yon.” “You know I am right. Scott is on to you like the others. You don’t need anybody. No one is gonna tell the great Jenny Kilmer what to do! What has it cost you?” “Allright, allright, Yon.” “Have you not learned anything about love since we’ve been working together? Since you were 16? When it comes to love, you still talk like a 16-year old. Your mother and your father are at their rope’s end with you. Your agents put up with you because you make them money.” “Why are you still here, Yon? You can coach anyone you want. You’ve got your five gold’s with me. What’s keeping you here?” “I want to see you come full circle. You’ve got nothing more to prove in skaing. The pressure is totally off of you in this Olympics. I am partly to blame for you being the way that you are. I have pushed you too much for too long.” “So, what are you saying?” “I have made my dreams into your dreams and I am sorry. I want you to win the Gold Medal…in love.” “But, why are you saying this now? After all this time?” “Scott loves you with all of his heart. Do you remember when you broke your ankle two years ago at the Nationals when you tried the quadruple lutz? He went on to the ice and carried you off. He doesn’t care about your skating. He cares about you! He cancelled a multimillion-dollar building project to be with you for two weeks after your injury. He lost dollars after dollars for his company, got demoted and risked getting fired for you. He slept in the chair in your hospital room for two weeks! That’s love! Scott is one of the greatest things to ever happen to you and you cannot see this. You are headed to becoming a bitter old maid! You’ve got another half-hour till practice is over. Skating- it’s what you’re best at. Go on!”

For one of the first times in her 36 years, Jen Kilmer was silenced, but not without tears of sadness and despair. She could not stop crying…even after practice ended.

The next day, Kilmer fell time after time attempting to do a quadruple lutz. Very few skaters have ever successfully done the quad lutz.

Yon coached Kilmer, “You are not falling because you don’t know how to do the quad lutz. You are falling because Scott has not called in a week.” “What else am I gonna do, Yon?” Kilmer asked. “Call him again and apologize to him – for real this time. At least you’ll know you’ve tried. If you don’t see him again, so be it.”

The day of the Women’s medal event arrived. Several of Kilmer’s competitors had subpar performances, which eased the pressure even more for her. Still…her pressure was not on the ice. She could probably do a very safe program and still win the gold.

Jenny and Yon were in the locker room. Kilmer was stretching as part of her warmup routine. She spoke apathetically to Yon. “Scott’s not gonna show, Yon. I’ve pushed him away like all the other guys before him. I’ve been the biggest bitch to him. He put up with so much of my crap. I won’t be able to show any of my children my gold medals because there won’t be any husband to start a family,” she said confessingly as she started to cry. “ I AM gonna be a bitter old skating commentator for some TV network and I’ll smile my typical smile and show to the world that Jen Kilmer is the happiest woman in the world. I’m such a phony.”

Kilmer’s name was announced on the public address, which meant that it was time for her two-minute warmup before her program.

Kilmer skated gracefully and confidently as usual. She was a skating legend. In her mind, she was just going through the motions. She nailed some practice double and triple lutzes, which she could do in her sleep.

As she skated toward her coach, she formed a puzzled look on her face. Yon was smiling and laughing next to a man who had his back turned to her. Jenny braked and as the man who was laughing with Yon turned around.

“Scott,” Jenny said straining to say his name. She was finally able to get her breath. “Why? Why are you here? I thought I lost you.” “That’s what Yon thought too until I called him,” said Scott. “You called Yon, but you didn’t call me?” “Don’t push it.” I love you, Scott,” she said. “Thank you for being with me after I broke my ankle. You’ve always been there for me and I’ve treated you like crap. Like I told you on your message-phone, I am so sorry.” “All is forgiven, my dear. You can thank Yon for it.” Kilmer smiled at her coach. “I’m doing the quad lutz. And I’m gonna nail it!” “Are you insane? If you wanna win a sixth gold, don’t go for the quadruple lutz! You were lucky four years ago, but remember what you did last year in the Nationals? You fell flat on your ass!” Yon reminded her. “I’m gonna have fun this time, Yon. For the first time in the Olympics, I’m gonna have fun because I finally got everything that I’ve wanted. This is it. After this skate, I’m done. I’ve won the gold this year.” Yon nodded his head with approval and a slight smile. Scott had a puzzled look on his face. “You haven’t skated yet.” “Oh yes I DO HAVE the gold,” she took Scott in her arms. “He’s right here and I’m never gonna let him go,” she sniffled. “I have five gold medals. Now I want some babies. Will you marry me?” “Yes!” said Scott surprised. “I love you, Jen with every bone in my body.”

Scott and Jenny kissed passionately as a couple of Olympic officials walked up to Yon to let him know that his skater was next. When they were done kissing, Yon tapped Jen on the shoulder. “Well then,” said Yon, “You’ve got one more skating duty. As you said, have fun.” He smiled widely. As her named was announced, Kilmer skated onto the ice with the biggest grin she ever had on her face. The crowd’s applause had never been louder for America’s Sweetheart. Kilmer could not hold back the tears of joy. She knew it was her last skate. Jenny Kilmer had won the gold even before her program. She won the gold medal in love.

20 Ways To Make Someone Smile

Do you want to put a smile on someone's face today? Maybe make their day a little better. It won't cost you a single penny or much time to do just that. And because smiling is contagious, it probably won't just be one person you make smile today.

Here are 20 ways to turn that frown upside down.

1.  Send some flowers to your partner at work.
2.  Compliment a friend or work colleague on their appearance.
3.  Donate something to charity.
4.  Take a friend out to lunch.
5.  Let someone know you miss them.
6.  Make a surprise telephone call to your partner at work, just to say hi.
7.  Hold a door open for someone walking behind you.
8.  Hug your partner for no reason.
9.  Leave a joke on a friends answer machine.
10. Send a card to a friend letting them know what a good friend they are.
11. Give up your seat on the train to someone when there aren't any left.
12. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
13. Ask a friend if they need anything while you're out shopping.
14. When it's raining, plan an indoor picnic with your children.
15. Leave a love letter somewhere where your partner will find it.
16. Send someone an unusual and unexpected gift like chocolate, flowers or sex toys.
17. Tell your child you're proud of them.
18. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
19. Cook a surprise meal for your partner one night, especially if they normally do the cooking.
20. Tell your partner you love them.

Did you know it takes only 17 muscles to smile, but 43 to frown. Why waste all that energy frowning when you could just smile.

Here are 5 more facts about smiling.

1. Women smile more than men.
2. Smiling releases endorphins that make us feel better.
3. We are all born with the ability to smile, it's not something we learn from others.
4. A smile is a universal expression of happiness.
5. A smiling person is thought to be a more pleasant, attractive, sociable, sincere and competent than a non-smiling person.

Just remember, smiling is the easiest and cheapest way of improving your looks.

10 Ways To Find Happiness In Retirement

Retirement is not the end but is merely the beginning of a new life, a new you. As such, it is nothing that should be dreaded or something that should cause you unnecessary stress. Instead it should make you happy and can bring you a new sense of pleasure, if only you let it. In this article, we’ll discuss ten ways that you can find happiness in retirement.

1. Be open and receptive – Change your attitude and you’ll change your life. Retirement is simply a new phase of your life one that you can succeed and enjoy if you’re open and receptive to doing so. It is a time to pursue your dreams, aspirations and make your dreams come true.

2. Plan physical and mental activities – A busy mind is a happy mind. By staying physically and mentally active, you will lift your spirits and will be happier.

3. Laugh and have a fun time. Don’t take yourself so seriously. By having fun and not taking life too seriously, you can lift your mood and make yourself and others happy .

4. Don’t be too introverted. Share your burdens with those who love and care about you. This isn’t to say that you should be a worry wart but by revealing your innermost thoughts and feelings, you can positively affect your mental state.

5. Pursue stimulating activities. Figure out the things that you enjoy doing and do more of them. For instance, if you enjoy spending quality time with your grandchildren, plan play dates or other activities with them.

6. Brush up your knowledge – An educated mind is a happy mind. By expanding your learning horizons, you can become happier.

7. Spend quality time with loved ones – Now that you’re retired, you have even more time to spend with those you love. Plan lunch dates or throw a party for family and friends so that you can spend quality time with the people that mean the most to you.

8. Remember the little things mean a lot – Do something nice for someone and you’ll feel good about yourself. Take some time to write someone a note telling them how much they mean to you. Spend time with a friend or ailing relative or engage in some type of volunteer activity.

9. Fulfill your dreams – Consider fulfilling those dreams you had shelved on your way to building a career for yourself. This can be very satisfying.

10. Maintain a positive mental attitude – Do not vegetate just because you have retired. This is the fastest way to breakdown. Maintain a youthful attitude. Take up some hobby and remain active, mentally and physically.

In conclusion, retirement is a time when you can be tremendously happy and fulfilled. You can ensure that this is true by maintaining a positive mental attitude, fulfill your dreams, remember that little things mean a lot, spend quality time with others, brush up on your knowledge, pursue stimulating activities, don’t be too introverted, laugh and have a great time, plan mentally engaging activities, and be open and receptive to experiencing the good life after retirement.

7 Unique Ways To Make Someone Smile

Do you want to put a smile on someone's face?  Maybe make their day a little bit brighter?  It doesn't have to take much time or money on your part.  In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing.  You won't know how many people are encouraged by your kindness because smiles are contagious. Try out one or more of these 7 ways today to put smiles on their faces.

1. Write an encouraging note to others that have encouraged you or that need encouragement. Handwritten notes that are given to encourage, not just for thanking someone for a gift, are rare. That makes handwritten notes even more special. Start a new practice of sitting down and writing an encouraging note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic!

2. Take a friend out to lunch or invite her to your home for a meal.  You will get to know each other even better than you do right now. If you feel like being more adventurous, throw a party for several of your friends and put smiles on a multitude of faces.

3. Give someone an inspirational book to read. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it.

4. Ask a friend or relative if you can take care of their kid(s) for a day or evening. If you have been a parent, you know the value of being able to have a few hours of "adult time" without worrying about the children. Don't wait to be asked to baby-sit when it is required. Offer to do it at a time when the parent can do something fun and relaxing.

5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is be out of bed. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed.

6. Volunteer time to supporting your local church or charity.  Every minute you dedicate to a church or charity will cause many smiles.  You will put a smile on the face of each leader just for helping without being asked.  You will also be putting smiles on the faces of those that are being helped through the organization.

7. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day.  The list of those that you come in contact with is endless.  Remember family and friends, secretaries, co-workers, teachers, Sunday school teachers, pastors, store employees, janitors, gas station attendants, those that deliver your mail and newspaper, and servers at restaurants.

I know this is a list of 7 ways to put a smile on someone's face, but there is one more way that can't be ignored. Reveal a genuine smile to everyone you meet. You will experience how easy it is to get others to smile!

The Inside is What Counts

Greetings self-help readers,

This article will deal with what is on the inside of us. Who we are on the inside, seems to show up on the outside no matter how hard we try to hide it. You have no doubt heard of people wearing their hearts on their sleeves and this is because what is in our hearts are some deep emotions. You can be the best actor/actress in the world but if you are hurting inside you are in bad emotional shape. You can mask your pain with a smile or a laugh but that pain is still there. You can not make that pain disappear with alcohol or drugs it simply returns when the narcotic is out of the system. Medication will also need to be constantly taken if one is on anti-depressants. Why? Because the heart itself, what is on the inside of every single person on this planet is never dealt with. God speaks of people who honor Him with their lips but their hearts are far from Him. God knows what is inside of all of us. The choice can be to run from who we are. To pour ourselves into various addictions to get away from who we are. We must however deal with who we really are if we are to move past any pain in our lives.

Before my darling mother passed away, she uttered the words it is time to move on to my wife and I. Those words were very hard to hear but they still ring true today as I am reminded of them when I reflect back on my last days with her. I could have chosen to stay in the emotional state of numbness that I was in during her last days on earth or proceed to keep all the great memories of my mother in my heart and enyoy the rest of the time that God has given me on the earth. The choice was mine. It was a difficult one but one that I believe that all of us must make when it comes to dealing with who we are. If I chose to stay in a state of numbness and deal with it by working too much or withdrawal I would too busy focusing on myself. I would miss out on spending time with my amazing wife and daughter and I would never be able to get that time back.

Take a look at who you are inside. Talk about the pain with someone you can trust and move on. You can do it. You must do it if you are to be the very best that you can be. Choose not to live in the past because you will miss the very future that God has planned for you.

Much continued positive attitude success,

The creator of "Positive Attitude Secrets"